


Echoes.

by Awkwardpickles91



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Gay Bashing, Heavy Angst, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:15:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21778168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awkwardpickles91/pseuds/Awkwardpickles91
Summary: A different take on 3x07. Instead of Justin going to Daphne after he breaks up with Ethan; he ends up at Brian's and the pair have a talk that they should have had.
Relationships: Brian Kinney/Justin Taylor (Queer as Folk)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 45





	Echoes.

**Author's Note:**

> This came to me in a dream and I had to write it. 
> 
> (sorry if this seems ooc; I just wrote what I was dreaming.) 
> 
> Feedback is amazing! Thanks for reading!

Justin had slammed the door close and let out a shaky breath; he looked down at his hands that were bloody from ripping the roses apart. Justin licked his lips and walked down the stairs and out of the building and onto the street. He could call his mom, ask her to come pick him up. But, he didn’t want her to look at him with those sad eyes. He could walk and go to Debbie’s. She would make him some hot chocolate and probably heat up some lasagna for him. 

He didn’t want to wake Debs tho and he didn’t want to hear her threaten Ethan and comfort him. He could try Mel and Lindsay; sleep on their couch. But with Gus and Lindsay begin pregnant; he didn’t want to bother them. He could Daphne; But first Justin just wanted to be alone. 

Justin started walking around; seeing others laughing with their friends. Some holding hands and kissing their significant others as they walk home. 

Justin was an idiot to believe anything Ethan said. Of course it was too good to be true; Ethan only cared about his music and didn’t care who he hurt in the long run. Justin wishes he realized that sonner. Justin zipped up his jacket and put up his hood as he continued to walk. 

Justin only realized that he had been walking for so long when he was being bumped into. Justin let out a breath; he should have tried to call Daphne or walk to hers. He looked up and saw he was at Brian’s loft. Justin sighed and continued to stare at it; the light was on which wasn’t surprising. 

He wondered what Brian was doing or who he was doing. Was he by his computer working? Did he have someone over and them bent over his bed as he worked him open with a toy? Was Brian working out on his treadmill? Where the guys over and they were having a small party? 

So many questions about Brian Kinney… people would ask him questions in Babylon, in the baths or just at the diner. 

How good in bed is he? 

Does Brian really throw orgy parties? 

Is he really that good in bed? 

The answer to most of them was yes. Brian was the stud of Liberty ave and was one of the most complicated people Justin had met but he was also one of the best. 

Justin knew it was dumb to try but most of his decisions up at this point had been stupid so why not throw another one into the mix? 

So, Justin had used his old key and unlocked the door; he walked up the stairs slowly; not wanting Brian to hear him incase he was escorting someone out for the night. Justin got to the top and saw Brian’s door; he started biting his thumb as he looked at it. He remembered always being so excited when he would see the door; knowing that when it opened he was in for a fun night. Some nights when it opened he was in for a quiet night. Others it would be for a long night as he worked into the night working for school. 

Behind the door was home. _It was._ Justin raised his hand and knocked on the door; his heart pounding in his chest as he waited. 

Justin knew that the possibility of Brian being alone was a chance in hell but he didn't crash at Daphne but he didn’t want to be alone. He just needed to see a friendly face. Or a familiar face at least. 

Justin sighed and was about to leave when the door slid open to reveal Brian Kinney. 

Brian was working on his computer when he heard the knock; looking at the time he was a bit confused. He didn’t call anyone to come; he got up anyway; thinking maybe Micky was coming over or maybe Melanie needed him to watch Gus. 

What he wasn’t expecting was Justin Taylor to be on the other side of the door; his eyes all red and pink. His hands had dried blood on them that made him raise his eyebrows. “Hey..Brian.” “Why are your hands bloody?” Justin looked down at his hands; he had forgotten about that. 

“I uh..was pulling apart roses, the thorns…” Brian sighed, “Can..I uh...come in and clean them off?” Brian licked his lips and open the door wider; moving out of the way for Justin. Justin walked in as Brian closed the door. Justin walked over to the kitchen and turned on the sink; he started washing his hands as Brian closed the door. 

Walking back over to his computer; he looked over at Justin. Something had happened; it made Brian’s stomach roll as he watched Justin. 

Justin finished getting the dry blood off his hands as he turned it off and dried his hands. “You need anything for your hands?” Justin looked at Brian and shook his head. “I’ll be fine..” Brian nodded. 

The air in the room was silent and awkward; it made Justin feel sick. It never felt like this before between; even after they would argue; they would make it up to the other. 

Justin felt like an outsider in a place that was seen as the safest place to him. 

“What happen with the fiddler?” Justin swallowed the lump in his throat; “He fell off the roof.” Brian raised his eyebrows. 

“I showed up to his competition thing to surprise him and he went off with some drooling admirer.” Justin sighed, all the feelings coming back up. “I confronted him about it and of course he lied. Then! The guy shows up with a bunch of roses.” Justin laughed and shook his head, “I ripped up the roses and threw them at him, I took off that damn ring and left.” Justin walked around the kitchen island and sat at it. “I can’t believe I fell for his bullshit.” 

“Your young and inexperienced.” Brian stood up and walked over to the fridge; grabbing two beers for them. “And what? Your so smart?” Brian sat Justin beer down and opened his. “If you had any brains at all, you wouldn’t have let me leave.” 

Brian took a gulp of his beer as he swallowed it, watching Justin. “Is that what you were waiting?” Justin opened his beer and took a sip of it. “I was waiting for a lot of things.” 

“Things I won’t give you.” The air in the room went silent again and it felt..stiffed. Like, the balloon was waiting to be popped. Justin sighed and reached for his beer, staring at it as he rubbed his neck. 

Brian watched Justin, he could tell that Justin was tired and sore. He licked his lips as he continued to watch Justin. 

“You made your bed, lie in it.” 

Justin watched Brian; “you helped with my choice, you wanted me to catch you fucking Rage at the release party so I would make my choice.” Brian stared back at Justin. 

“Because I knew you didn’t want to be here with me.” Brian rising his voice; “You wanted to be with him.” Justin swallowed the lump in his throat. “I shouldn’t have to do or say anything to make you stay.” 

Justin watched Brian walked over and poured himself a drink from scratch. “If it wasn’t for me getting bashed in the head, I wouldn’t have been here at all; you said yourself!” 

“I didn’t say it like that!” “But that’s what you meant!” “If I hadn’t gotten bashed that night; I would still be that annoying kid who followed you around; the one who you went to if you didn’t have any plans and that saddest thing is i would have let you! Because not being with you or just..dancing with you at Babylon...would have sucked.” 

“I loved you Brian and yeah, I was waiting for you to say it. To say I’m the only one you want.” Brian finished his glass as he stared at Justin; the balloon was popped and all the air was out as he filled the room; wanting one of them to take a breath and start again. 

“I fucked up but you, you gave up.” Justin got off the stool and walked over to the windows; looking at the view. 

“I didn’t give up anything, I just didn’t want to fight for something that obviously didn’t want me anymore.” Justin shook his head as he held back tears. “I wanted you.” “You wanted me to give you things I won’t give you and to try and force me to give them to you; isn’t love Justin..that’s sacrifice.” 

The room shifted and Justin almost wishes he hadn’t come up; he just walked to Daphne or called his mom. 

Brian filled up his glass again; he also wishing he hadn’t answered the door. He just went to bed. 

“You could have just ...done something I wanted to do. It was always what you wanted. We either go to the baths or Woody’s, babylon. It was never just stay in and just us two.” He sighed. “It got..boring.” Turns and stares at Brain. “Would it have hurt your ego to just stay home with me one night and have a picnic on the floor?” 

“It's not what I wanted to do Justin..” “what about what I wanted!?” Justin yelled. “I liked our non committed relationship Brian; I just hated the way you treated me and you can say I knew what I was getting myself into and I did. But you fucked up too.” 

The oxygen in the air felt stiff and like the echoes of them taking bites out of each other was bouncing off the walls and hitting each other as the other waited for a reply and the other was thinking of what to say next. It was late; both of them should be in bed but neither wanting to back down; two years of things thrown on the back burners and talked with strangers at clubs; with friends was all coming up like word vomit. 

“If you wanted to be with me so bad; why did you hook up with the fiddler? After the first time?” 

Justin stared at Brian and let out a shaky breath. “Because he was wanting to give me what you wouldn’t and...I liked the feeling of being the only one he wanted.” Brian clenched his jaw as he watched Justin. 

“To hear about that From Michael, of all people.” Justin scoffed, “you think I wanted you to hear it from him?” “You sure as shit weren’t going to tell me.” “I was!” “When?! You had plenty of chances to tell me! And you never did, every time you came back from fucking him; which broke our rules by the way, the one you made! You took a shower to wash him off!” 

Justin felt the tears slowly fall down his face as he wiped them off; “I..” “That wasn’t the first time you broke one of the rules. You kissed the kid you fucked at that party you went to.” 

“Another one of the rules you made again by the way.” Brian walked around the island and let out a breath; clenching and unclenching his fists. 

Justin walked over to a chair and sat in it; feeling deflated. The fight that was pulsing through him; now dying off as he watches Brian sit on his couch. 

The room felt...clearer then it had in awhile; maybe it was Justin finally letting out all of his frustrations. Maybe it was Brian finally letting himself be open and let out his frustrations as well. 

Brian let out a breath; “The reason I didn’t want to have a picnic on the floor was because Ben was in the hospital that day and...It brought back many memories.” Justin looked over at Brian, “why didn’t you just say that?” says softly. “I don’t like remembering.” says softly as he looks at Justin then looks down at his hands. 

Justin sighed. “Such a mess.” 

Brian nodded, “Yup, reason why I don’t do relationships.” Justin smiled a bit. “Just fucking.” 

Brian smiled a bit, “get out with maximum pleasure and minimal bullshit.” Justin smiled and sighed and looked at the time. “Its late; I should uh… go.” Justin sat up. “Where you going to go?” 

“I can go to Daphnes or call my mom for the night.” Brian stared at Justin; he seemed so...at peace which was different for Brian; he figured sunshine would look broken after having a fight like that; but Justin was stronger than he would have imagined. 

“Its late; just stay here for the night.” Brian sat up as Justin stared at him; “I don’t think..” “It's just a night.” Brian stands up as walks up the steps to his bed. Justin licked his lips and sighed; he was exhausted and it would be easier if he just stayed at Brian’s. 

“I’ll sleep on the couch.” he heard Brian scoff; “so I can hear you bitch about your back the next morning? Come up here.” Justin looked over and saw brain in sweats and a muscle tee. 

Justin got up and turned off the lights before slowly walking up the steps to Brian’s bed. He took off his shoes and jacket; he took off his shirt and undid his belt; unbuttoning his pants and taking them off at the foot of the bed. Brain lifted the blankets up for Justin as he crawled up and laid down; Brian covered him and Justin got comfortable as Brian rested his arm around Justin. 

“Goodnight.” “Goodnight.” Brian closed his eyes as Justin exhaled as he closed his eyes as well. 

**Author's Note:**

> Come say Hi on my Tumblr- haceleyes. :)


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